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Kai... by ~lorilei-mackenzie:iconlorilei-mackenzie:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Old Poetry Structure > Rhymes


Blue marks on his face
His grandfather thinks he is a disgrace
Beautiful slate and blue hair
He used to fight dirty and now he fights fair
Eyes that are crimson red orbs
It is the pleasure of victory he absorbs
Skin that is soft and has a pale tone
He wants everyone to go away and leave him alone
As we watch him, his scarf starts to sway
As he turns around and walks away
©2004-2009 ~lorilei-mackenzie
:iconlorilei-mackenzie:

Author's Comments

A poem about the Bladebreaker we all know and love...KAI! Not the best poem in the world but i gave it a try.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconwildbrumby:
~wildbrumby Jan 28, 2004, 6:24:30 AM
That rules! :D better than the one i write once! *shudders* that was terriable! lol cool how you got it all to rhyme! :D
:iconlorilei-mackenzie:
~lorilei-mackenzie Jan 30, 2004, 3:46:40 PM
i was going to make it longer...ryhming poems are hard to do though... i might update it and make it longer

--
Look inside my frozen crystal heart and witness my dark destruction
:iconaphroditia:
~aphroditia Jan 31, 2004, 10:30:13 AM
Nah! Don't update it and make it longer. I love the ending:

As we watch him, his scarf starts to sway
As he turns around and walks away

^^ That was awesome. Don't update it, I think you did an awesome job as you did.

--
I absolutely love Harry Potter and SRK :) Ooh, can't forget the Matrix too!
______________________________ ____

Mouse: So what did you think of her?

Neo: Of who?

Mouse: The woman in the red dress? I designed her. She, um, doesn't talk very much
:iconlorilei-mackenzie:
~lorilei-mackenzie Jan 31, 2004, 2:08:08 PM
well if i did upate it, i would add the lines in the middle, not to the end... and thanks, it took me forever to come up with that last bit! ^^

--
Look inside my frozen crystal heart and witness my dark destruction
:iconaphroditia:
~aphroditia Feb 1, 2004, 1:52:28 PM
Ooh.. okay. I thought you were going to take away that ending.. and I just love it!
The middle.. sure. I'm waiting for the final product :D

--
I absolutely love Harry Potter and SRK :) Ooh, can't forget the Matrix too!
______________________________ ____

Mouse: So what did you think of her?

Neo: Of who?

Mouse: The woman in the red dress? I designed her. She, um, doesn't talk very much
:iconzero-phantom:
~Zero-Phantom Mar 1, 2004, 12:41:31 AM
Not bad, really. There's room for improvement, but still, I'd give you an 7 over 10

--
Hybrid Theory
I am a hybrid of light and dark
:iconnasheira:
~nasheira Apr 4, 2004, 12:24:00 PM
Wooooooow, what an awesome poem :D I can never write good poems. That poem makes Kai sound extra hot XD Great job!!
:iconmeawsy:
=Meawsy Apr 19, 2005, 6:06:33 PM
xD what a great poem :D

--
I make VERY CHEAP Comissions, Art Trades, Requests, GiftArts, Fanart, Original Characters, Collabs and more! :D

Check out my gallery :heart::heart:

Avi Base: ~kawaiihannah
:iconinsanityof666:
~Insanityof666 Aug 13, 2006, 4:52:33 AM
BEAUTIFUL!! GO KAI!!!

--
The most travelling I do is round a coffee pot trying to find the handle
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January 24, 2004
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